GIRLS ALOUD play THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF HELL at STUDIO

By the time they played, we were famished bored and scared. Waiting for an hour and a half in the dark sorrounded by hundreds of fourteen year olds and queers on a monday night is not the preferred hangover cure. We slumped against the wall. We yawned. We were blinded by the TV camera spotlight that illicited screams everytime it passed over the crowd. Most of the time the screams sounded like you were trying to sleep thru a windstorm in a really old house on a hilltop. Eventually they showed their faces and began their rotten 25 minute set. They can't dance. The sound guy fell asleep (at one point one of the girls was so off-key and 'high' in the mix that she sounded like a man). And most of them had such bad cross-eyes that it made us wonder how they managed to find the stage at all. They had to introduce themselves because they thought that nobody knew them by name. "Who cares!!" came a shout from the sound guy. Obviously they'd stiffed him somehow.