Great rip-off artist 003: Bob Dylan

Now here's a guy who really knew how to pinch stuff.

Aah, the power of music. Thanks to the new innovation of recording it can go around and around and around ad infinitum. In the 21st century it is clear that music is just one big revolving door of influence influencing influence, but Bobby invented it. But that's about the only thing he invented. He would steal arrangements from friends.

(One story tells that he stole house of the rising sun from one guy who told him he would prefer if he didn't because he wanted to record it himself. People were saying to the guy when he performed his own arrangement that he was just ripping off Dylan. As you can imagine, the guy was pretty steamed. The flipside of that was when the Animals came out with their version, Dylan had to stop doing it because audiences thought he was ripping the Animals off (Which he kinda was). Justice never felt so good.)

Some other dude had all the Woody Guthrie records in the world, and Bob would go to his house to listen to them. The guy went on holiday. When he came back 400 of his precious vinyls were missing. He tracked Bob down eventually.

The sides are still missing.

Here's to Bob.

Michael Letts Woman Exhibit

Just not too long ago, fellow critic Jagd Kunst posted a searing indictment of Art Space's barely-veiled support for a sexual regime that's more musty than ya grandma's twat. But maybe even worse is that practised by gallery mufasa Michael Lett, who resides over k'rd's art hang-ons with a keenly discriminating queereye. shorty recalls one particular incident in which a certain female staple of the art scene (who shall remain nameless) approached Mister Lett in the hope of procuring a drop, only to be turned down under the impression that no alcohol remained; meanwhile, it was only minutes later that shorty himself approached the man, and looked on with horror as Mister Lett retired momentarily to his batcave of alcohol (complete with revolving doors), returning with two unopened bottles of wine and a grin as wide as a torn asshole. Of course, shorty does not overlook the advantages to be gained by the use of his unearthly good looks in a city that has gay men situated at most art/fashion locuses of power. But enough is enough! This crazy carnival of power-run-amok must come to an end! Which is why it is with great pleasure that shorty announces - for the first time he can remember, since entering this game - a woman exhibited at Michael Lett. Her name is Jacqueline Frazer, and shorty only assumes her art is really fantastic - to tell you, dear readers, the truth, he was simply so drunk on the sweet feminine grace (and free wine) that had wafted through the usually militant and uninviting gallery interior, that he sort of neglected to pay attention to the art. But why argue over the colour of horses when they're skeletons? This is war, and shorty is on the frontline, armed only with the power of speech and a raging hard-on for the truth.

STOP TRAFFIC!!

There is no information whatsoever about the 'artist' responsible for the new sculpture at the top of Hobson street availble on the Transit New Zealand website. The photo above is only a representation of course, although judging by the size of that lamppost it could easily be a hoax. LOOK- in comparison to the stoplights it must be at least 150 feet tall. IS IT ART has been there to take a gander at this new and mysterious addition to our hilarious city, and we can indeed confirm that it is a reality. Do you remember the old one that looked like two abstract intertwined legs that had been ragrolled gold? But then they disappeared one day- and no one noticed?
This thing ATE it. They say it's a pohutakawa, but it isn't. It's the Devils chopsticks and He's toasting marshmallows

Positioned at the hub of one of the city's busiest gateways, the sculpture will be seen by tens of thousands of motorists every day.

"The pohutukawa tree and its flower, which blooms at Christmas, will be reflected on the motorway and at the Nelson and Hobson Street ramps, by the pohutukawa theme. The sculpture will be the centre point at this important gateway to and from the city. Hopefully, it will help people to enjoy the Christmas spirit throughout the year."

Well?

Get Off Without Her Head! On Trade Me!

Aaah, the old female nude. Never will she lose popularity. Because she's just a picture she can' t talk back, or laugh about how small your dick is. It's even better, it seems, when she doesn't even have a face at all...

In the case of this image, "NAKED back" apparently: "Without seeing the face of the lady makes the painting mysterious and more attractive." So true.
Is up to a low $26 with 20 hours to go.


The author of this next painting has solved the problem by chopping off the head altogether! Wowow! She's remarkable, really isn't she? It's a pity she cant remark upon herself, as I'm sure she would if she only had a brain.

"*NUDE* Stunning" has a starting bid of $200 with no bids so far and closes on Thursday.





Actually, you know what, why not just do away with the head and neck altogether? And while where at it, forget those pesky arms and legs. Take 'Rachel' here. Perfect specimine of a woman! We all know which bits are the most important, right?

"she is as you see her "beautiful"."
"Rachel" starts at $150 and will try to close her legs on Friday, but to no avail.

Debbie of Morart branches out!

Regular trader on trademe Debbie Morgan has finally seen the light and has done something a little more abstract than a painting of flax. IS IT ART commends this brave new step into a world of circles and lines. Go and buy it. She has to pay the mortgage on her flax overgrown home. But you better be quick, it closes on thursday and is already up to $20!

Trade me winner (more to come)

Would this painting be better if Cindy King of Timaru had read any of the comics that Lichenstein had ripped off in the sixties? Did she even know of the outrage in the art world when he commited this art-crime? Is this a post-ironic statement by the artist? By gum! Who can tell?

Title: Large Pop Art
No bids
Starting bid: $125
Closes: 9 hours

The IS IT ART company vehicle

Thanks to Alf, billboard magnate and poster child.

IS IT TECH?

Sometimes when guys who make microchips get bored, they doodle on their chips, much in the way you might doodle on a pad when you're on the phone. The method they use is similar to photography and/or etching. Building layers and layers of removable surface they put anything that strikes their fancy. Unfortunately, not all people who can make a microchip can draw a picture, no matter how tiny. So they resort to using clip art. Clip art is a ready made document that can be used to decorate any other kind of document, usually for free. Are these chip artists merely clip artists? Would it be different if they had painted an image done by somebody else onto a tiny canvas that you'd strain your eyes to see? 'Undoubtably!' We hear you sweet Avant-Guardians cry.

Case in point:

Sometime last year, Auckland sculptor John Radford tried to take legal action against Hallensteins (a clothing company) because they took a picture of one of his sculptures in Western park and put it on a tee-shirt to sell for a profit. This was wrong indeed, and John led a crowd of people to the store on Queen street to protest with signs that said things like "Hallensteins=Philistines" and such the like. Unfortunately, what John didn't realise, and what IS IT ART tried to tell him was that the image used was
a) taken in the public domain and
b) not a photo that He had taken.
Therefore He had no legal comeback what-so-ever. To paraphrase the man himself, He was 'Up shit creek'.

The internet by it's very definition is public domain, probably the ultimate public domain. IS IT ART expresses opinions based on the experience of going to thousands of art shows over the years, carefully cultivating liver cancer and an appreciation of what we think good art is.

So we'll say whatever we like. Because that's what we're used to. If you don't like it (like how we don't like most of the crap we see just about every day) and you don't want to tell us something we don't already know about art, then hit the little button at the very top right hand corner. We are not Hallensteins, we are a group of non-profit individuals.

Thank you.

TRADEME flax SPECIAL 003

IS IT ART knows that we've posted this before (or have we (sly wink)) but it's back. Debbie from morart does sixteen of these a week, alongside her husband Nige who manages to pull out a good 24 per week, BUT HE USES BROWN INSTEAD OF GREEN! With only 17 bids it's going for an amazing $16!! Buy it now and hang it in your favourite backwater cafe!!

TRADEME flax SPECIAL 002

Terriffic!
*GEKO'S in the FLAX* *TEXTURE* $1R By Art_Squad! Art Squad has done it again, and will soon win our annual prize for most featured artist on IS IT ART. The top prize is: YOU GUESSED IT a painting of some flax!! But before we ship it out to them, how is the flax painting market these days? Well this particular one is going for $60 at the moment with only 20 bids! Come on you art loving swine! Get over there and BID BID BID!

TRADEME flax SPECIAL 001

'Gold Harakeke II' by Melissa

with 77 bids, you can outbid them all and take this one home for a whopping $250!!! It's oil! It's gold! It's flax!

Too much plying

Artspace was very confusing, was you supposed to read the books, was it you not touch the books? The CCTV would suggest otherwise. Every stinking body trapped in the well with no lassie? Cunts. Neerie was there a point. IS IT ART if you expose your personal library to the world? Neh. cunts.
The best part was when our roving reporter Face got yelled at for being too drunk and putting her booze down on one of the precious collection. The best part about that was that she'd volunteered to set up the show a few weeks back and then rung up everyday claiming she was sick (she was). It does seem to us that only women volunteer for work at artspace (apart from Shorty, but he never turned up either and neither is he strictly a male). IS IT ART has deduced that artspace must be a sexist operation, where they get the men to do heavy lifting and hammering of stuff, while the women folk are simply put there to look good and serve.

IS IT FOOD?

28 year old Chilean artist Constanza Puente is another in a long line of people who believe that food is art, and then call themselves artists. Like Maurice Bennet, 'New Zealands most renowned artist', Puente has made some art out of toast. However, she has certainly stepped up the game a bit with her lifesize and flavoursome self portrait in Santiago.

A self-portrait done of bread supposes the integration of the qualities of this food to the resulting image, those that determine as well the manufacture and happening of the work. Tensionando the contact with the means that receive it, the horneado bread will jeopardize the action of third on the work, that will not only face a particular material, but that also to a support qualified like food. This process, will take to the picture to go into in the field of irregularities and fragility that sometimes it tried won, bringing of return the possibility of a prosaic finitud. Adopting the qualities of this food, the picture will be affected by the same process of transformation of its support, that, as well as "is born" after a careful manufacture, it is disturbed and it extinguished as spends the time. -the Artist.

'The video shows a battle conducted by the same author in whom this one eats the face of a chocolate bust, picture of
its mother.'

All quotes translated from spanish by Google.

The tragedy of trademe

"Wine is bottled poetry" reads the inscription, a quote apparently taken from Robert Louis Stevenson, scottish author. RLS probably had a great appreciation for art, and is no doubt rolling in his grave at this very time.

By Wellington Artist D.Andrews
Merlot...A mixed media piece featuring raised 'borders' as a textural feature, abstract pictures of merlot grapes, and a glass of merlot. A printed panel of a French engraving showing a young woman at the grape harvest.

Mixed Media: modelling compound, printed paper, pastel, acrylic paint. Finished with a protecive sealant.

This is a truly awful piece (as is almost all art that comes out of wellington) with 8 hours left, 31 bids it's going for $91. But you could probably buy it now for a cool $100. As the say on trademe: 'The photo here does not do the colours justice, look at my other listings!'

"When I got saved, God became my art agent,"

So it turns out that Thomas Kinkade, america's beloved 'painter of light' is actually a devil who eats babies, pisses in fountains and gropes middle aged women when under the influence. But don't we all? This list of allegations from former employees and business associates doesn't stop there either. Apparently he is a ruthless business man, who willfully drives gallery owners to ruin while reaping the riches. Just like any devout cristian would, he denies all charges despite the courts demanding he have to pay $860,000 for defrauding two gallery owners.

IS IT ART would like to show you his work here, but we are afraid of being sued by a man who made $50 million from prints of his work between '97 and '05.

Another allegation is that while drunk at a Seigfried and Roy show, Kinkade spotted Roys codpiece and couldn't shut up about it screaming "CODPIECE! CODPIECE! CODPIECE!" until his mother and wife calmed him down (probably with a shot of morphine by the sounds).

And when asked about an alleged groping:

"But you've got to remember, I'm the idol to these women who are there. They sell my work every day, you know. They're enamored with any attention I would give them. I don't know what kind of flirting they were trying to do with me. I don't recall what was going on that night."

Just like a good christian.

IS IT ART EXCLUSIVE

Rhohan Whelan has recently been working on SHIPS. Thats right folks, seems like he's done away with paint and now has taken up using a hot-air-gun and now he just wants to strip.

a good art is hard to find

Finally, here's somebody who can not only make terriffic art, but also makes our job easier by providing terriffic analysis of his own work! Dr. Joseph McCrumble is a celebrity parasitologist in Scotland, the link to his blog is at the top of the list to the right. Listen:

Conflict of the Senses (2006)

"This painting was inspired by the efforts of a group of disabled dogs I witnessed being walked around Edinburgh city centre. They were variously affected, and it dawned on me that we are all in a similar situation at some point in our everyday lives. We must rely on our senses to tell us what is wrong, and how to correct the defect. But what if there is a conflict of interest in our senses and the solution becomess, blurred, equivocal? All hell breaks loose, and we have no clear direction to our lives. A cacophony of signals reverberate around our mind, cancelling here, amplifying there. We are left with nothing more than colourful splodges of cerebral confusion."

'Nuff said.

Wild Goose chase around campus

Due to Nervous from Down Souths' poor directions, IS IT ART spent the best part of an hour running around AK university looking for the Max Giblet biography book launch, hoping to hear him speak of himself in a highly lauded fashion. It was not to be, so we ended up on the High street and drank some beer with our technological associates.

Trade Weiner

With 43 bids and going for a song at $26, IS IT ART is now confused. This painting is called 'friendship'. But why would you pay good money for something that you could do yourself? Or if you lacked the talent, just get your kid to do it. Show them the picture (left), give them a collection of assorted pastels and you're away laughing. Original contemporary New Zealand art, ready to hang.

Or rather, it should burn.

MAXIMUM GIBLETS@gowlangsford

Do the Gow-Langford's ever have anybody else to show other than Max Giblets? The evidence would suggest otherwise. Has Giblets ever done more than one painting in his 60 year career? The evidence certainly suggests otherwise. Most of these paintings were absolute shit. Rehashes from his hey-day, and by the look of the dates he hasn't done any real work since 2001. We over heard him telling some 'asians' that his paintings were "...very zen. There's no bullshit about these works, y'know?" then he did an obligatory bow and backed away. There was one good one, though, [in the blurb about the book about his life, though is mis-spelt tho. how fucking zen.] and the only thing good about it was that it hurt your eyes to see it. at the John Leech gallery next door, the wine was not as good and the sight of all those patu's were giving us ideas about how Max Giblets' brains would look sprayed all over one of his paintings from a good whack from one of those. Giblets can do the same painting every day, but nothing issues pain like a good old patu.




















'My silk palace' (yellow, obscured by woman): $38,000.
'Skywalker' (blue, unobscured by man): $38,000
'Knight' (blue and red, main work): $68,000

IS IT FOOD OR ART?

'NEITHER' may have crossed the minds of the various international chefs that turned up to the World Association of Cooks' Society Congress being held at Skycity this week. Greeting them was 150kg's of margarine, sculpted to look like a maori warrior issuing a traditional wero.

"Butter's better, but margarine lasts longer"

Says sculptor Tim Aspinall of his work. Well marge may last, but it's hardly culinary is it? We're sure that Peter gordon would have at least been slightly bemused at this, and who can tell what Martin Yan of Yan can cook would have thought. Aspinall is also responsible for those ghastly representations of bears fighting dolphins that so scared your grandmother when you went to valentines for a cheap buffet. IS IT ART thinks that he should perhaps team up with the likes of Maurice Bennet, the toast man. Then we'll really see some art happening. The most disturbing thing about this is that the margarine is rock hard and inedible, making it's existence utterly pointless.

the (YAWN) trade winner of the day

BIDS:81. BUY IT RIGHT NOW AT 8:28pmPST FOR $159!!

	hi can you please tell me about how much to freight to christchurch city? posted by: caseybubs (9 ) 3:46 pm, Mon 6 Mar
	Hi, it will be $28 to Christchurch, cheers, Debbie 4:25 pm, Mon 6 Mar
	Hi What are the approx dimensions in cm's. Thanks posted by: rat1971 (29 ) 11:49 am, Wed 8 Mar
	Hi, 46cm x 93cm, cheers, Debbie 4:19 pm, Wed 8 Mar
	Hi Debbie, I was in the art section here the other night and I saw a beautiful painting of some grey flax which I was certain was yours. If it is, do you still have it? Cheers Shell posted by: jim199 (20 ) 1:10 pm, Thu 9 Mar
	Hi there, My husband, Nigel had a brown Flax on the other night (sammylee of trademe), that might be what you are thinking of, otherwise I did have another green flax on last week with a white border. Both have sold, but we can probably come to some arrangement, and paint another for you either as a commission for you or with a buy now option. Cheers, Debbie 1:47 pm, Thu 9 Mar
	Hi Debbie, yes, that's the one, all of your art (both of you) are so beautiful. I look forward to having some in my house :) Shell posted by: jim199 (20 ) 5:55 pm, Thu 9 Mar
	Hi Shell, good luck with your bidding then! Cheers, Debbie 6:31 pm, Thu 9 Mar

GREAT RIP-OFF ARTIST2: Michaelangelo

"It is a uniquely styled monogram signature. It could either stand for Michelangelus Buonarrotus Facibat (Michelangelo Buonarroti made this) or Michelangelo Buonarroti Florentine,"

"This explains why the Marcialla fresco does not resemble his more famous classical inspired imagery found on the Sistine Vault. Just as Michelangelo copied the style of the ancient Greeks in his sculpture, he also emulated Giotto, Donatello and other masters of the Trecento in the period prior to his departure to Rome in 1496," Schoen said.

He would have freely adapted the central elements of Giotto's composition and executed it in a pseudo-Trecento style.

If a Mickey mouse artist like Michealangelo can do it, then so can Picasso. And so can you. Fuck those SaFa's. [KingEditor getting belligerant now.]

GREAT RIP-OFF ARTIST: Pablo Picasso

"Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole"
'Pablo Picasso',by Johnathan Richman and the Modern Lovers

Well, it seems as though he has been in South Africa. Some people make predictions, and get called prophets, this never happened to J. Richman though. An exhibition of Pablo's work in Johannesburg this month has created controversy when a government official accused the 33 year dead art-star of plagarising an entire culture.

"Today, the truth is on display that Picasso would not have been the renowned artist creative genius he was if he did not steal and re-adapt the work of anonymous [african] artists."
Sandile Memela-spokesperson for the Dept. of communications.

What kind of an idiot lets a politician write about art? And what kind of self respecting artist

wouldn't seize the opportunity to make the art of savages known to the world, If he was so inspired? One correspondent likened it to the "black fascists" that vilified Paul Simon when he worked with Ladyship Black Mambazo to produce his album Gracelands.

"Le'art negre? Connais pas."
Pablo Picasso

'The Fire In Her Eyes' by Taanz

This one is my Trade-Me winner of all time. As a woman, I really do know the way it feels to have fire in your eyes, it bloody hurts, and I think Taanz has really captured the emotion of the moment. It has taken over a year of constant effort for poor Taanz to get the feeling of this piece just right, so the least anyone could do would be to bid even just one measley dollar on it, right? I cant do enough justice to this, so here is a description of 'Fire In Her Eyes' by the artist him/herself:

Quality Acrylic Gouache paint has been used to create this stunning piece. It's small but it commands your attention!

I've been working on this piece for over a year now, it's been sitting unfinished on the wall for so long I was wondering if I was ever going to complete it, but I finally have and I am so pleased with the results :)

12 x 4" canvas (~30.5 x 10cm), 1.5" thick (~4cm)
Sides painted black, comes ready to hang.
Signed, titled and dated on back.
Finished with matt varnish spray for protection.

This piece looks much better in the flesh!!! The pictures have turned out slightly lighter than the actual painting.

Member of the NZ Art Guild

a number of trade winners because today we got DRUNK

Title: Sleeping Beauty
Medium: Acrylic on stretched canvas. Varnished for protection.
Size: 400 x 295mm
Artist: Yi Wen Seow (c) 2005.



[More likely it should be named 'Sunburnt mermaid falls asleep in psychiatrist's office'.Currently going for $10.50 with 17 bids].



You can buy these hand crafted from willow tree "together figurines" for your wedding cake, or just the plain old mantlepiece for a bit of decoration. The figurines are not fully poseable. They are not poseable at all. However, they are ambiguous enough to let you draw your own likeness, alongside the one you love. Ladies: If you have a lover with blonde hair, just grab a paint brush and change it. You can even change the colour and design of your outfit from day to day. Fellas, If you don't wear kakhi pant's in real life, get creative, because obviously the 'artist' has just left it up to you. As if she were leaving a paper bag full of clay that was on fire on your doorstep.

"Susan Lordi's sculptures communicate a loving and personal connection to others and the world around us. Their simplicity and serenity bring warmth and grace to any home, and are perfect gifts for any occasion."
closes wednesday, currently selling for $2.50


That's all too much for one day...